My journey is now ending and just beginning at all times. The paths I have chosen are now forking and decisions are being made and I couldn’t be more happy.
I was 17 when I became pregnant with a beautiful baby girl. She was exactly what I needed at the time and I was quite content too raise her. I never had the interest in going out with friends. My social life was my work any other time was devoted to raising a level headed sensitive, kind, and caring young woman.
I worked only to support our family, not for pleasure, not to feel intelligent, but to provide. My loyalty and love was directed to my family and I never felt committed to any job regardless my length of time there. As I climbed a financial ladder my jobs all taught me something and I loved the change. The problem that was presented to me was – society views change as unreliability – as undesirable – as a million negative things. However, I have always survived and thrived with my gypsy heart and to attempt to stay rooted in a job went against my very fibre. I became depressed, desolate, and that became who I was. It wasn’t long after this that I had an epiphany.
I remember sitting at my desk 6 years ago and acknowledging the desire to be free. Free to parent, free to create, free to explore and free to choose my life and lifestyle. I had health blockages that needed healing and I needed time and space to refocus my attention on myself. I began to imagine a future that was right for me. I was ready for change and moving forward at full force.
Two weeks before I was moving forward I received shocking and exciting news about my pregnancy. I was going to have another bundle of joy to raise and care for….. But wait? What about me? What about building a future around the healthful lifestyle I was ready for. I fell back to depression and because I had health issues the doctors supported my birth with a couple prescriptions that only added to my rising anger and depression. It was a tough time when all was supposed to be joyful. I turned to sugar for a burst of happiness regularly throughout the day. This led to more illness and ultimately the development of gestational diabetes. This path was a dark and hopeless one. I knew it was now or never for a change.
I tried going to work after my maternity leave was up and I knew instantly office work was no longer for me. I decided to strike out on my own.
I started a home daycare, fully intending to dedicate my life to children for the next 4 years. Truthfully, I lasted 9 months. I loved the children that came but couldn’t make ends meet consistently so I moved on and tried housekeeping along with newspaper delivery all while I attempted to get my bus drivers license. I found time to upcycle wood furniture as well as continued to grow the Moose Jaw Aqua Otters swim club while struggling to find my niche in life.
I found a love for synchronized swimming and loved having the opportunity to coach a team! The work was gratifying but not quite what I was meant for and honestly all these small jobs were keeping me from realizing my true potential and path.
I had been guided toward a Yeun Method healing years ago. If you’re unaware what this is ill explain. Yeun method access the universal energy that we all share and uses positive and negative muscle testing to find blockages in the body and heal them.
I was interested in learning more about this when Rieki started to appear and reappear in my life – so I took the path of least resistance and became certified in levels 1 & 2. While taking my level 1 course I felt very moved to commit myself to a YTT in Costa Rica. I had my eye on this resort for months…..literally! That night I made the deposit feeling very sure this was my direction, my cause and I was so excited to begin the healthful lifestyle that I’d wanted for years!
Being a bus driver and making very little to begin with I knew I would have to hustle and make as much money as possible. So I began to tap into and market my natural abilities and fall back on old talents I had learned in the past. I needed all my tools now more than ever! This in itself brought forth one of my most valuable gifts… My understanding of energy, blockages, flow, and organization.
Unfortunately, my trip to Costa Rica has yet to materialize as my lack of knowledge in relation to the exchange rate has provided a temporary road block.
I am not the type of person to take the word no very easily and this only made me more determined to get on the right path!
As I’ve already stated – I am at the beginning of my path. Today I begin my Yoga Teacher Training and today I begin actively perusing my gift for healing through organizing. I’m ready to put in the work – are you?
Inspired Wellness 